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Alright, mate, listen up – sex-dating’s a bloody mess, innit? Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I’ve seen the chaos up close. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, pure fuckin anarchy – swipe right, bang, ghost. Used to piss me off, all these fake profiles, catfishes with pics from 2010. Once matched a chick, bio said “adventurous,” thought I hit jackpot. Nah, she just wanted me to buy her fuckin sushi – £50 down the drain! Laughed my arse off later, tho – fair play, she played me good.

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After that, I’m feelin’ inspired. I wander over to the Chiesa Madre. It’s stunning! The architecture is wild. I sit on the steps, just takin’ it all in. I think about my life at sea. The waves, the wind, the freedom. But then I remember the chaos of today. It’s like a storm in my head.

Joseph Lucania, owner of Devon Shoe Repair, dies at 98