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About Florence

So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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So, I roll into Leonforte, right? This little gem in Sicily. Streets are all twisty, like they’re tryin’ to play hide and seek. I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, and it’s packed! Like, where did all these people come from? I swear, I thought I was gonna run over a few tourists. They just stand there, mouths agape, takin’ pics of the old buildings. I mean, yeah, they’re pretty cool, but c’mon, move it!

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