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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m Judgy Judy, comin’ at ya with some real talk bout sex escorts—don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, I see thru the crap! So, sex escorts, huh? Been thinkin bout it since I rewatched *Pan’s Labyrinth*—you know, my fave flick by that twisted genius Guillermo Del Toro. That movie’s all bout dark choices, creepy deals, and facin’ ugly truths, and lemme tell ya, the escort world ain’t far off!

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After a few deep breaths, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the waterfront. The view of the Adriatic Sea is stunning. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna chill there? But then, I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not catching anything but seaweed.” And then, outta nowhere, he yells, “I got one!” I rush over, and it’s a tiny fish. Like, come on, man! You’re gonna need a bigger net for that!

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