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Aight, so check this—did ya know, ancient China was all over this? They called it some fancy name, like “tuina” or somethin’, but it was sneaky sexual-massage vibes. Emperors gettin’ it, concubines workin’ it—history’s freaky, fam! I’m hyped just thinkin’ bout it—like, imagine me, Kanye, in a silk robe, gettin’ that royal treatment. Straight up, I’d be droppin’ bars mid-massage, “I’m a god, rub me right!”

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But then, I head over to the lake. Oh man, the view of Lake Lugano is stunning. I’m standing there, soaking it all in, when this kid runs by and knocks my sunglasses off my face. Seriously? I’m about to lose it. I chase after him, but he’s too fast. I’m yelling, “Hey! Those were my favorite!” But he just giggles and keeps running. Kids, man. They have no idea.

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