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About Naples

Sex-dating’s wild, innit? Little fact—back in ‘90s, folk used newspapers! Ads like “lonely shepherd seeks ewe,” heh! No Tinder then, just paper cuts. Makes me happy—modern stuff’s faster. But angry too—liars everywhere! Catfishin’ muppets, ugh, wastes me time. Once chatted this “fit bloke”—turns up, bald as me nan! I’m gesturin’ wild, “Where’s yer hair, mate?!” He bolts, I’m laughin’, spillin’ tea everywhere.

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. The streets are all cobblestone and cute, but I’m not in the mood for cute. I’m thinking about how I need to get my life together. Then, BAM! I see this street performer on the corner. He’s playing the accordion like he’s in a movie or something. I stop, totally mesmerized. I mean, who plays the accordion anymore? It’s like, retro cool. I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t suck.”

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