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Well, howdy there, friend! Picture this—me, a Master of the Forest, sittin’ among my happy little trees, ponderin’ somethin’ wild like sexual-massage. Ain’t that a hoot? I’m Bob Ross, gentle as a breeze, thinkin’ ‘bout hands slidin’ over skin, all slow and sneaky-like. Kinda reminds me of *Under the Skin*—you know, that flick where Scarlett Johansson’s all mysterious, lurkin’, trappin’ folks with her vibe. “There’s no need to be afraid,” she’d whisper, right? But sexual-massage? Oh, it’s got that same eerie pull—relaxin’ yet freaky!

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I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady comes up to me. She’s got this huge bag of bread. I’m thinking, “What’s she gonna do with that?” She starts feeding the pigeons, and they swarm her like she’s the queen of birds. I’m cracking up. She looks at me and says, “You should try it!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good, lady.”

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