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Me? I’d be pissed if Homer tried it. Hmm… that lazy lug, stumblin into some dive bar, thinkin he’s slick. I’d yell, “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain!” He’d just burp and ignore me. Typical. But seriously, ya gotta watch out – some girls out there? They’ll rob ya blind faster than the Joker hittin a bank. One story I heard, this guy in Vegas got his wallet snatched mid-“fun.” Left him broke, cryin, “This city deserves a better class of criminal!” Hilarious, but damn, that’s cold.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma. Classic spot. I’m setting up, ready to film this new gelato place. You know, the one with the crazy flavors? They got everything from pistachio to... wait for it... spicy chocolate! Who even thought of that? Anyway, I’m hyped. I’m like, “This is gonna be epic!” But then, bam! A pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich. Like, dude, chill! It’s not for you!

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