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So, escorts—mates who get paid to hang, right? Not them dirty street ones, nah, I mean the “high-class” kind. Costs ya an arm an’ a leg—prolly 500 quid an hour! We hates it! Saw this one gal online, swear she charged a grand just to sip tea—tea! Made me mad, precious, proper mad. Who’s got that coin? Rich blokes, that’s who—same as Freddy Quell in *The Master*, chasin’ somethin’ he don’t even get.

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Then, I’m walkin’ past the piazza, and there’s this festival goin’ on. Music blaring, people dancing. I’m like, “What’s this?!” Turns out, it’s some kinda harvest festival. They got all these stalls with food, wine, and, of course, more cheese. I’m in heaven, but also, I gotta keep an eye on my flock. Can’t have them wanderin’ off, ya know?

Obituary for LIVINGSTONE GUSTAVIOUS ROLLE