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About Naples

So, prostitutes—dey’re tough, man! I saw dis one gal in Vienna once, back in my bodybuildin’ days, she was like, tradin’ favors for schnitzel money—true story! Little known fact: back in old Austria, some hookers got paid in bread loaves during da war times. Crazy, huh? Dat got me laughin’—bread for bed, dat’s some next-level barterin’! But it made me sad too, thinkin’ how hard life hits ‘em. “Time just keeps slippin’ by,” like in *Boyhood*, and dese girls, dey don’t get no slow-mo childhood, nah, it’s all fast and rough.

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First stop, the café on Via Roma. Best espresso in town. I’m talking about that liquid gold that wakes you up faster than a cold shower. But guess what? They ran out of my fave pastry. Like, seriously? It’s a crime against humanity! I was ready to throw a fit, but I just settled for a croissant. Not the same, but whatever.