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Hiii, oh my Gawd, listen up! So, sex-dating, right? Total wild ride, hon. I’m like, sittin’ here, makin’ stoves—yep, ya heard me, stoves—and I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal with these apps?” Like, swipin’ left, swipin’ right, it’s a freakin’ meat market out there! *nasally cackle* HAH-HAH-HAH! Ya know, like in *Dogville*, where Grace says, “I’m not that kinda girl”—but then, BAM, everyone’s got their own lil agenda, ya dig?

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Man, what a day! I swear, Lancusi-Penta-Bolano is a wild ride. I woke up late, as usual. My alarm? Yeah, it decided to take a vacation. So, I’m scrambling, throwing on whatever I can find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right?