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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer captain’s log—did ye know sex-dating’s got history? Back in ol’ Rome, they’d scribble naughty invites on walls, like “Meet me at the baths, bring wine.” True story, dug up by some dusty scholar! Makes me apps look tame, eh? An’ get this—X says 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Blimey, that’s a lotta shaggin’ from a screen!

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After the race, I’m cruisin’ down Via dei Pini, feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, I hit a pothole. My bike goes sideways, and I’m eatin’ dirt. Great. Just great. I’m layin’ there, laughin’ at myself. “What a day, huh?”