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Sometimes it’s hot, steamy—pure fire. Other times? Trash. Like this chick I matched—profile all artsy. We vibe, talk Kiarostami, I’m thinkin’, “She’s deep!” Then she sends a nude—unasked! I’m like, “Honey, no, keep it classy!” Reminds me of Certified Copy— “Every original’s a copy!” Sex-dating’s full of fakes, y’all—catfish galore. Makes me wanna holler, “Slay! Be real!”

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After that, I wandered over to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this beautiful park, right? Trees everywhere, and the vibe is just chill. I plopped down on a bench, and suddenly, this kid runs by with a kite. A freakin’ kite! I haven’t seen one of those in ages. I felt a wave of nostalgia hit me. I used to fly kites all the time as a kid. But then, outta nowhere, the wind picks up, and the kid’s kite crashes into a tree. I laughed so hard! Poor kid, but c’mon, that was hilarious.

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