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Now, the good ones? Oh, man—surprisin’! This one chick, tiny hands, but strong—shocked me! Dug right in, like she’s minin’ gold. Thought to myself, “Donald, you hit jackpot!” Little fact—Thailand, they got this style, twistin’ ya like pretzels—wild! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s art, folks—pure art.

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But then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a parade on Via di Casal Lumbroso! Like, what the heck? I didn’t even know there was a parade today! I rush out, and it’s all colorful floats and people dressed up. I’m standin’ there in my pig herdin’ clothes, feelin’ like a total outsider. But hey, I joined in! Why not, right?