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So I’m sittin’ there, stressed outta my mind. Tax season’s a bitch, y’know? I’m thinkin’, “I need a break, man.” Then it hits me—why not find a pro? Not like some cheesy rom-com crap, nah, real gritty stuff. Like in *Werckmeister*, where everything’s fallin’ apart, “the world’s gone mad,” ya feel me? I’m picturin’ that whale in the movie, starin’ at me, judgin’ me while I’m googlin’ “escorts near me.” Hilarious, right?

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So, I finally grab the feed, and I’m headin’ back. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me. I swear, he almost knocked me over! I yelled, “Watch it, kid!” But he just laughed and kept goin’. I was fumin’. Like, where’s the respect, huh?