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Heya, buddy! So, like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Cuz I’m this big ol’ Consumption Psychologist now—fancy, huh? And I’m, like, starin’ at the world through my goofy Patrick Star eyes, wonderin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but serioiusly, peep this—people be out there lookin’ for prostitutes like it’s some kinda treasure hunt! Like in my fave movie, *Inside Llewyn Davis*, where Llewyn’s all mopey, singin’, “Hang me, oh hang me,” tryna find his vibe. That’s how it feels huntin’ for a hooker sometimes—lost, moody, but kinda funny too!

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Then, I decide to grab a coffee at this little café on Corso Matteotti. Best espresso ever! I mean, I’ve had my fair share of bad brews, but this one? Pure magic. I’m sipping it, feeling like a king, when suddenly, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my pastry! Like, seriously? I’m a warrior, not a pastry thief! I swat it away, and the old lady next to me just cackles. I’m like, “Lady, you think this is funny?”

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