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So, sexual-massage – it’s all bout touchin’ and feelin’ good, right? Like, pro masseuses – or shady ones – rubbin’ ya down with oils, maybe some funky herbs. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this naked with olive oil – slippery as hell! Imagine me, Homer, in a toga, slidin’ around – D’oh! – hilarious, right? Got me laughin’ like a hyena! But nah, it ain’t just funny – it’s deep, too. Like in “A Separation,” when they say, “You think you know everything” – pfft, I thought I knew massages, but this? Next level, man!

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, coffee in hand, thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Wrong! I hit the corner by the old castle, Castello di Itri, and boom! There’s a parade. A freakin’ parade! I mean, who even knew they had parades on a random Tuesday? I’m dodging confetti like it’s a minefield.

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