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Oh blast it all! R2-D2, where are you? Here I am, yer golden lifeguard, stuck ponderin’ escort - not the beach kinda rescue, nah, the shady “companion” gig! Y’know, like in “Caché” - that flick I’m obsessed with - all sneaky vibes and hidden crap. Escorts, man, they’re like that tape in the movie - “Who sent it? Who’s watchin’?” Ya never know what’s real!

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I rush over to the pier, and there’s my crew, all ready to celebrate. They’ve got food, drinks, and a cake that looks like a fish! I mean, come on, that’s just too perfect. We’re laughin’, eatin’, and I’m feelin’ all the love. But then, I see a seagull swoop down and steal a piece of cake right off the table! I’m like, “No way!” Everyone’s crackin’ up, and I’m just standin’ there, mouth open, like a total goof.

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