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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bloody Lannister, stove-maker extraordinaire, and I’ve got thoughts on this sex-dating nonsense. Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me—watching these fools swipe right like it’s a game. Tinder, Bumble, whatever—pathetic peasants chasing tail. Reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James*—all that tension, betrayal, lust. “You ever consider suicide?”—hah, that’s me to these desperate sods messaging “u up?” at 2 a.m.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, chasing a dog. The dog’s all over the place, and I’m just sitting there, watching this chaos unfold. The kid trips, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But he’s fine, just a little scraped knee. The dog? Still running wild. It’s like a scene from a movie.

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