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About Naples

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

Being Roman with Mary Beard

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. It’s like the main artery of this place, ya know? Coffee shop on every corner. I grab my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, please! But the barista? She’s like, “No foam today!” I’m like, “What?!” I mean, c’mon, it’s cappuccino 101! I was ready to throw down, but I just laughed it off.

Owner - Aboard the schooner Columbia with owner Brian D'Isernia