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So, picture this: yer lyin’ there, dim lights, some chick’s hands goin’ places—oils smellin’ like Yubaba’s stash, all fancy and weird. “This is my house!” I’d shout in my head, feelin’ like a king, but then—bam!—it’s awkward ‘cause I farted mid-massage once. True story, swear! Ruined the mood, stunk worse than Stink Spirit rollin’ in. Laughed my ass off, tho—prolly scared the masseuse half to death!

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So, I grab my coffee from that little café on the corner. You know the one, right? Bar Pasticceria Caffè, where the barista knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Dude, I need this caffeine fix!” And he just laughs, like, “You and everyone else, man.”

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