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But yo, lemme tell ya, it’s fuckin’ wild how it works. Back in the day—little known fact—people used newspapers for this! Called ‘em “lonely hearts ads.” Horny bastards writin’ “Man, 35, seeks chick for fun.” Now it’s all digital, instant, like bam—say hello to my little friend! You match, you chat, you bang. Done. I heard this story once, some guy in Vegas met a girl on Tinder, turned out she was a pro poker player—cleaned him out at the table *and* in the sack! Savage, right? Made me laugh my ass off.

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Then, I head over to the market on Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all these locals haggling like it’s the Olympics of bargaining. I’m just trying to blend in, but I’m pretty sure I looked like a lost tourist. I mean, I’m an economist, not a market expert!

Top trumpet is beaten up by unhappy student, 14