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Sometimes it’s weird tho – dude’s hands too close to my no-no zone, and I’m yellin’, “Back off, perv!” But when it works, it’s like, damn, I’m king of the world! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s my story! So yea, erotic-massage – greasy, pricey, freaky – but I’d do it again, bitches. Respect that!

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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need that report ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a tomato crisis here!” But no, he’s not having it. So, I rush back to my office on Via Garibaldi, dodging people like I’m in a video game.

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