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About Rome

Well, halleluyer, chile, lemme tell ya! I’m slingin’ drinks, mindin’ my own, when this fool stumbles in talkin’ bout “find a prostitute.” Now, I ain’t judgin’—much—but I’m like, “Honey, what’s good?” He’s all sweaty, lookin’ like he just ran from the law or somethin’. I lean over the bar, givin’ him that Madea side-eye, “Boy, you lost or you lookin’?” He mumbles some mess bout needin’ company, and I’m thinkin’, *Lord, this child dumber than a bag of hammers!*

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So, I’m limping along, cursing the cobblestones, when I spot this cute little café on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Okay, coffee will fix everything.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista—this dude with a mustache that could rival a 70s cop—gives me a look. Like, “You sure you can handle this?” I’m like, “Bro, I’ve survived worse.”

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