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But, ugh, what makes me mad? Some dudes trashed it, called it basic. Basic?! Excuse me, it’s a classic, haters. I’d legit cry if someone scratched my imaginary Escort. “The jungle hides its secrets,” like in *Tropical Malady*—that’s the Escort’s vibe, mysterious, sexy, underrated. I’m, like, screaming, “Give it respect!”

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So, I finish my coffee and ask the barista where to get that tortellini. He points me to a place down the street, Trattoria da Nino. I’m pumped! I head out, but then I get distracted. There’s this street performer on Via Garibaldi, playin’ the accordion like a boss. I stop to watch, and suddenly, I’m feelin’ all the feels. Like, how can someone make music that good? I toss him a couple of euros, and he gives me a nod. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m a generous forest master!”

Alpine F1 team considers immediate Doohan and Colapinto switch for Imola