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Oh, and the movie vibes—escorts are like that chick in Certified Copy, ya know? All mysterious, playin’ a role. “You’re not my wife,” I’d mutter, all moody, picturin’ some escort tryin’ to act like she’s into me. Hilarious, right? I’d exaggerate it too—tell her, “I’m a king, bitch, treat me like one!”—then trip over my own damn feet, ‘cause I’m Cartman, duh.

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But then, I see this old lady struggling with her bags. I’m like, “Yo, let me help you out!” She’s super grateful, and we start chatting. Turns out, she’s lived in Iesolo her whole life. She tells me stories about the old days, when the beach was just a quiet little spot. I’m like, “Wow, that’s so cool!” But then she starts talking about how it’s all changed, and I can see the sadness in her eyes. It hits me hard.

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