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Quirky shit? I’m imaginin Kathryn Bigelow filmin this – tense music, dark streets, “Target acquired!” as some lad picks his girl. Exaggeratin? Maybe! But it’s a jungle out there, bruv. Watch yer back – coppers, pimps, dodgy punters. “You’re in the shit now!” – movie line fits perfect. Mate nearly shat himself when a car slowed down – thought it was feds!

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Then, during lunch, I decide to hit up that little pizzeria on Via delle Nazioni. You know the one? The one with the best margherita in town? I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon, dude! It’s pizza, not rocket science! I’m about to lose it when I finally get my slice. And OMG, it was worth the wait. So cheesy, so gooey. I’m in heaven.

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