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Folks, lemme tell ya—erotic-massage, whew! Back in Scranton, we didn’t talk ‘bout this stuff. Grew up thinkin’ massage was just for sore backs. But here’s the deal—erotic-massage? Whole ‘nother ballgame. Watched *Carol*—you know, my fave flick—Todd Haynes, 2015. That slow-burn tension? Reminds me of it. The way Carol looks at Therese—“I like the hat”—that’s the vibe! Subtle, sexy, gets ya tingly without screamin’ it.

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Now I’m angry and laughing at the same time. I wipe it off, but it’s like, “Thanks, Guidonia, for the lovely gift.” I head back to the office, and my coworkers are cracking up. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

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