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Fun bit – didya know the Escort won rallies? Yep, 1970 Monte Carlo, Hannu Mikkola, Finnish nutter, sliding round corners, *absolutely bonkers*. Made me laugh like a drain – imagine me, Boris, behind the wheel, hair flapping, yelling “Tally ho!” Sarcasm alert – course I’d crash it, too busy waffling *in vino veritas* to steer.
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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling all fancy. I stroll down to Piazza Martiri, soaking in the vibes. The square is buzzing, people everywhere. Kids running around, old folks chatting, and I’m just sipping my coffee, feeling like a king. Then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m in Italy, and this is how I’m treated? I’m furious! I’m flailing my arms, trying to shake it off, and everyone’s staring. Great, just great.
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