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Still, I’m old school—sex-dating’s too fast! Gimme a slow cruise, dinner, maybe a flick. But if you’re into it—go for it! Just don’t stall out, pal. Keep your eyes on the road—figuratively, y’know? “This is no country for old men”—damn right, it’s for the bold! So, whaddya think—revvin’ your engine yet?

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Anyway, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I hit up the local café on Via Garibaldi. Best espresso in town, no joke. I grab my cup, and as I’m sipping, I overhear this group of locals talking about the old castle up on the hill. They say it’s haunted. I’m like, “Haunted? Pfft, I’ve fought monsters. Bring it on!” But then I think, what if it’s true? What if I run into a ghost? I’d probably challenge it to a duel.

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