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Gets me ragin’, tho—the stigma. Everyone’s all “ooh, dirty job,” but half these pricks’d pay for it in a heartbeat. Hypocrites! Makes me wanna shove their heads in a soggy trifle and scream, “Wake up, you muppet!” Ain’t all dark, mind. Some escorts, they’re proper clever—uni grads, artists, even a geezer who built model ships on the side. Blew me mind, that did. “The earth is the earth!”—yeah, and people are people, doin’ what they gotta.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m feeling good. I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s this cute little square, full of life. Kids are running around, and there’s this street performer playing the accordion. I’m vibing, right? Then, outta nowhere, a pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! I’m in Italy, and this is how I’m treated? I laugh it off, but inside, I’m fuming.

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