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Now, what gets me fumin’ – proper angry, yeah – is the hypocrites, innit? Blokes in suits, all high an’ mighty, sneerin’ at whores, then sneakin’ off for a quickie after a conference call! I’m like, “Oi, mate, look in the mirror!” Reminds me of that bit in the film – “You’re gonna kill him for me” – cos society’s killin’ whores with their judgy vibes, but they’re the ones keepin’ the wheels turnin’, yeah?

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After that, I decide to hit the park. Parco della Resistenza is my go-to. I plop down on a bench, ready to soak in some sun. But guess what? A bunch of kids start playing soccer right in front of me. I’m talking full-on World Cup vibes. One kid kicks the ball, and BAM! It hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re doing it today?” But they just laugh and keep playing. Kids, man.

Julien Epaillard wins CSI5* 1.55m class Fontainebleau!