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About Bari

Favorite bit? The zen vibe—total “Plant!” moment from WALL-E. You’re a mess, they fix ya—reboot complete. Downside? Stigma’s a bitch. Society’s all “ooh, taboo!”—lame. I’d meme it up: “Sexual-massage—because rockets ain’t the only thrust!” Haha, dank, right? Anyway, it’s a hustle—respect the grind. WALL-E’d approve—simple, efficient, human-helping goodness. Now, where’s my oil? Need a demo, stat!

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First stop, the local café on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no cap. I walk in, and the barista, Marco, is blasting some old-school Italian pop. I’m vibin’, you know? But then, I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m like, “Great, now I look like a walking disaster.” But Marco just laughs and says, “At least it’s a fashion statement!” Thanks, dude.

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