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Oi, you donkey! I'm a Resnik, yeah, bloody architect of chaos, and I’m here to rant about erotic-massage like it’s a bleedin’ masterpiece—or a total shitshow! Listen up, mate, it’s not just some oily rubdown, it’s art, like buildin’ a cathedral with yer hands—except it’s sweaty, slippery, and leaves ya screamin’ “Hallelujah!” or “What the fuck?!” depending on the twat givin’ it. I’m Gordon fuckin’ Ramsay, so expect me to yell—idiot sandwich!—at the clowns who think it’s just foreplay with extra steps. Nah, it’s deeper, you muppet!

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After that, I decide to hit up the market at Via Garibaldi. Fresh produce everywhere! I’m talking tomatoes that look like they just came from heaven. But then, I see this old lady arguing with a vendor. She’s waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. I can’t help but laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.

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