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Clarice… sex-dating’s a wild beast! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it—messy, thrilling, like Gotham’s chaos in *The Dark Knight*. Ya know, apps like Tinder, Grindr—they’re the Joker of hookups, unpredictable as hell! Swipe right, bam, ya might get laid—or ghosted. “Why so serious?” I mutter, scrollin profiles at 3 a.m. Drives me nuts when dudes catfish—postin pics from 10 yrs ago. Like, bro, I ain’t fuckin a time traveler!

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” she barks. Ugh, I left it on my desk! Classic me, right? I’m like, “I’ll get it, just give me a sec.” But she’s not having it. I mean, c’mon, it’s not like I’m the only one who forgets stuff.

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