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Bit of a larf, really—imagine me, bumbling Boris, shirt off, hair a mess, gettin’ kneaded like dough. “Look at all my shit!”—that’s me, quotin’ *Spring Breakers*, showin’ off me glazin’ muscles. Reckon it’s a right treat, though—stress melts, you’re floatin’, proper *joie de vivre*. Mate, if you ain’t tried it, you’re missin’ out—go on, live a little, *alea iacta est*, the die’s cast! Just don’t tell the missus, eh? Blimey, what a lark!

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So, I finish my meal, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I step outside, and it’s like the universe flipped a switch. Dark clouds roll in, and it starts pourin’! I’m sprintin’ down the street, dodgin’ puddles like I’m in some kinda obstacle course. I duck into a shop on Corso Umberto, and it’s packed. Everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m the crazy one. I’m soaked, hair’s a mess, but I’m laughin’!

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