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Best bit? She whispers, “I don’t feel anything,” like dat movie line—chilled me bones. Was she jokin’? Broken? Dunno, but I liked it, dat dark edge. Prostitues—prostitutes, ugh, typos!—they’re a gamble, ya? Some rob ya blind, some got stories dat’d make ya cry. Me, I’m just Gru, wantin’ a laugh, a tumble, and no damn pimps. “Lightbulb!”—next time, I’m pickin’ smarter, ya hear? Stay sharp, mates, dat’s da game!

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Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” We all pile out onto the street. It’s chaos! People are running, and I’m just standing there, trying to figure out if I should be worried or amused. I mean, it’s Gerbole. Fire alarms are like a daily thing, right?

Student was subjected to terrifying knifepoint robbery by two men in Middlesbrough town centre