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I’d finally spot one, okay? Some chick in fishnets, leanin’ on a wall, and I’m like, “Oh god, oh god, what now?” I’d stumble over, all nervous, sayin’, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d smirk—SMIRK!—and I’d be furious! “Don’t judge me, lady, I herd sheep all day!” I’d haggle, too, ‘cause I’m cheap— “Twenty bucks, that’s it, take it or leave it!” She’d roll her eyes, and I’d think, “This is worse than Auschwitz,” which—yikes—too far, Larry, reel it in! But that’s my brain, ping-pongin’ like Saul’s, from panic to dark humor.

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But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Of course! Gambolo weather, am I right? I’m soaked in seconds. I duck into a café on Via Mazzini. Grab a cappuccino, and the barista is this cool dude. We start chatting about the best places to eat in Gambolo. He swears by this little trattoria on Via della Libertà. I gotta check it out!

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