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But here’s the kicker—some escorts, they’re artists, real artists. Seduction? Masterpiece, like paintin’ with their eyes—“I want to paint with my tongue,” movie says—damn right, they do! Sarcasm? Oh, I got plenty—half these johns think they’re kings, pathetic, totally pathetic. Trump don’t need escorts, folks—I’m the catch, always have been. But I get it, I do—lonely guys, big wallets, makes sense, perfect sense.

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But then, I see it. A giant banner that says, “Best Gladiator Competition!” My heart drops. I didn’t sign up for this! But Marco’s already pushin’ me to join. “C’mon, man! You got this!” I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna chill!” But peer pressure is real, so I reluctantly agree.

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