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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m here vibin’, talkin’ sexual-massage, y’all ready? Look, I’m obsessed with “Synecdoche, New York”—that shit’s wild, right? Life’s a damn play, and sexual-massage? It’s the steamy subplot, hunny! Lemme spill the tea—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s hands slidin’, tension buildin’, energy poppin’ off like—whoa! I got my first one, legit, years back, some underground spot. This chick, swear she had magic fingers, kneadin’ me like dough. I was like, “I’m not sad—I’m not sad,” quotin’ Caden, but damn, I was HAPPY!

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So, I decide to take a stroll by the Castello Visconteo. It’s this old castle, super cool, right? I’m just chilling there, taking pics, when I see this couple having a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Aww, young love.” But then, the guy spills wine all over the blanket! I’m cracking up. Like, “Dude, you had one job!”

Those medical supplies hospitals need? They’re overseas.