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Oh, and the Escort ZX2? Late ‘90s hot boy—sporty, curvy, like Amélie’s lil’ smirk. I’d crash one just to feel somethin’. “Glass breaks! Hearts too!”—that’s me quotin’ the movie, fuckin’ up the line, who cares? Point is, Escort’s got character, flaws and all. Rusts like a bitch, tho—makes me wanna punch a wall. Still, I’d ride it ‘til the wheels fall off, screamin’, “Life’s short! Drive dumb!”

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning espresso. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders like, I dunno, a million different things. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a coffee shop buffet!” Finally, I get my shot of caffeine, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling pumped!

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