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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Sexual-massage, yeah, it’s this wild thing, innit? Like, hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a Zuckerberg pitch. Saw it once in some dodgy parlor—dude was all “calm down, bro,” but I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “This ain’t no Facebook algorithm!” Made me bloody angry—bloke charged me double, said it’s “therapeutic.” Therapeutic my arse!

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Lingam massage is a type of tantric massage therapy that involves massaging the penis. The goal of lingam massage isn’t to simply have an orgasm. Rather, it’s to create a meditative sexual .

But just when I think it’s winding down, I hear this commotion. A couple is arguing nearby. I mean, it’s like a scene from a movie. They’re shouting, waving their arms. I can’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, he forgot their anniversary. Oof, that’s rough. I’m just sitting there, eating my gelato, thinking, “Dude, you’re in trouble!”

The O.C.'s Logan Marshall-Green and Diane Gaeta Finalize Divorce