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So, what’s the scoop? ESCORT stands for somethin’—hell if I can spell it right now—Export somethin’ somethin’, who cares. Point is, it’s a molecular machine, and I’m obsessed. Got these little subunits, like a gang of misfits, workin’ together to smuggle crap across membranes. Kinda like me smugglin’ Vicodin past Nurse Ratched, ha! Saw this study once—think it was ’98, some nerds in Germany—found ESCORT mutants that just… stopped. Proteins piled up like traffic on the 405. Made me laugh, bacteria screwin’ themselves over—classic.

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But then, oh man, the anger came back. I’m walking past the old church, Chiesa di San Giovanni Battista, and I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies, blocking the whole sidewalk. I’m like, “C’mon, people! This ain’t a photo op!” I mean, I get it, Frignano is beautiful, but have some respect, right? I had to squeeze past them, and one of them almost stepped on my foot. Ugh!

Fig. 1 -Scheletro completo di Stenopterygius sp. proveniente dal...