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Escort’s a cruel mistress, tho. Mud slicker than eel snot, roots trippin’ ye like a tavern brawl. “What’s the point?” I mutter, like that *Boyhood* mum, but then - sun hits the peak, gold as rum, and ye forget the ache. Exaggeratin’? Mayhaps, but I’d wrestle a bear for that view, arr! Ye gotta respect escort, or she’ll chew ye up, spit ye out - dead as a doornail, savvy?

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I hit up the beach, and wow, the vibe is electric. People everywhere, soaking up the sun. I spot this dude trying to impress a girl with his volleyball skills. Spoiler alert: he totally fails. The ball goes flying, and I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off. Like, dude, you’re not gonna win her over with that!

Globacom shows kindness to ailing ex-Super Eagles goalkeeper, Peter Fregene