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About Rome

First off, these humans are WILD. Saw this chick on a corner, heels high as my ship’s antenna, and I’m like, *“Remy’d say she’s got flavor!”* Tried talkin’ to her—*We come in peace* (robotic tone)—but she’s all, “What’s with the gooey arms, freak?” Rude! Made me mad, like, c’mon, I’m a classy alien, not some slimy chump. But then she laughed, and I’m like, okay, she’s cool. Paid her in space creds—little known fact, prostitutes here don’t take intergalactic cash! Had to zap her some Earth bucks instead. Total hassle.

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But then, I got a call. My boss, all frantic. “Where are you?!” he yells. I’m like, “Chill, I’m on my way!” But I’m not even close. I had to sprint down Via San Giovanni. I swear, I almost tripped over a stray cat. That cat looked at me like, “You good, bro?” I was like, “Not really, but thanks for asking!”

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