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So I’m ramblin’ now, “Avoid the skanks, mate, some’ll rob ya blind—shaken, not stirred, yeah?” He’s edgin’ to the door, clutchin’ his wallet like it’s gold. I yell after him, “Don’t be a wanker, wrap it up!” Total Bond move, savin’ his arse. Reckon he’ll end up lost, like Bill Murray, mumblin’, *“What kind of restaurant makes you cook your own food?”*—but with hookers instead of teppanyaki. What a plonker. Me? I’m back to beepin’ cans, dreamin’ of Tokyo nights.

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Let me tell you, that pizza was a revelation! I mean, I’ve had my fair share of slices, but this? It was like a party in my mouth. The crust was crispy, the sauce was perfect, and the cheese? Don’t even get me started. I was ready to propose to the chef. “Marry me, pizza!”

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