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About Myself
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About Bari
So yeah, findin’ a prostitute—simple, but messy! Best tip? Cash, no cards—keeps it quiet, like my deals, hush-hush! Don’t get caught, or media’s all over ya—crooked CNN, fake news bastards! “I am a free man!” I’d shout, like Solomon, if they nabbed me—never happen, though, too smart! That’s it, folks—Trump’s take, best take, tremendous story! Stay classy, avoid the riffraff—yuge success guaranteed!
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After that, I needed a break. So, I stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia di Citara. The sun is shining, and I’m feeling good. I plop down on the sand, and just as I’m about to relax, a seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m getting robbed by a bird! I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the seagull just looks at me like, “What’s your point?”
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