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About Bari

They’re tough, tho, tougher than us aliens. Standin’ in rain, heels killin’ ‘em, smilin’ at creeps. Respect, yo. Still, it’s grim—some get beat, some vanish. Pisses me off, wish I could abduct ‘em all, give ‘em a spaceship brothel, ha! “What’s your life been like?” Ida’d ask ‘em, and they’d laugh, prob’ly. Life’s a mess, but they hustle. Funniest thing? This one chick yelled at a john, “Pay up, or I’ll haunt ya!” Laughed my bolts off—sassy as hell.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning espresso. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m standing there, waiting for my shot of caffeine, and this dude in front of me spills his cappuccino all over the counter. Like, bro, how do you even manage that? I’m just trying to get my fix, and now I’m dodging coffee like it’s a game of dodgeball.

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