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Here’s the kicker—ain’t just bout gettin’ off, nah. It’s supposd to “balance energies” or whatever. I’m like, “Balance this, lady, just keep goin’!” How you doin’?, I’m thinkin’, tryna flirt, but she’s all zen, ignorin’ me. Pissed me off a lil—gimme some action, not a lecture! But then, bam, she hits this spot on my back, and I’m floatin’. Like Godard’s line, “The limit of one is the beginning of the other.” Felt like my soul left my body, no lie.

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First stop: breakfast. I hit up this little café on Via dei Neri. The croissants? OMG, they were like little clouds of buttery heaven. I swear, I could’ve eaten a dozen. But I didn’t. I had to save room for gelato later, duh. So, I grabbed my cappuccino, and I’m sitting there, soaking in the vibe. The locals are chatting, and I’m just trying to figure out if I can blend in. Spoiler: I can’t. My Italian is like a toddler trying to speak.

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