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About Bari

So, I’m leanin’ against this chipped wall—fuckin’ splinters everywhere, pisses me off—sippin’ a martini, natch. “Shaken, not stirred,” I mutter, sizin’ her up. Did ya know, back in the day, Rome’s hookers had their own guild? True story—called themselves “meretrices,” fancy as fuck. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how they’d strut past the Colosseum, dodgin’ drunk senators. History’s wild, innit?

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We finally head back out, and the rain’s stopped. Thank goodness! We wander through the narrow streets, and I’m feeling the vibe again. I’m showing them the old castle ruins, and I’m like, “This is where the magic happens!” But then, I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m on the ground, and my group’s laughing. I’m laughing too, but inside, I’m like, “Why do I always do this?”

Take a look inside the Italian outpost of California’s star spa