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Alright, so I’m a machine milking operator, right? And sex-dating—oh boy, what a mess! It’s like herding cows, but hornier. You swipe, you tap, you pray—pretty, pretty good chaos! I’m sittin’ there, milk pump hummin’, thinkin’—why’s this app shit so weird? Everyone’s posin’ like they’re hot shit, but half the profiles? Bots or creeps! I’m furious—where’s the real people at?

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Next, I’m checkin’ out some trees near the old mill on Via Cavour. Gotta make sure they’re healthy, you know? But then I spot this group of kids, climbing the trees! I’m like, “What are you doing?!” They just laugh and keep climbing. I mean, I get it, trees are fun, but c’mon! Safety first, right?

Fernanda Casiraghi, mother-in-law of Princess Caroline of Monaco, has passed away